RICHARD ARMITAGE’S STYLING ISSUES

Me : Richard, we need to talk

Richard : I don’t like the sound of it… 

Me : It’s been on my mind for a while now. 

Richard : What ? 

Me : Your style. Sometimes, when I come across a picture of you, I’m a little-

Richard :

Me : I know it’s not your fault, you’ve admitted here  that you have no dress sense. I get it, it’s ok, happens to a lot of people, even good ones.

Richard :

Me : Even if you don’t become  the most stylish man in the world, you have to make, at least, some efforts. Let’s take the walk of shame. 

Me : Worst outfit ever. And don’t start me with this ridiculous pose of yours.

Richard : Well, the photographer was like “you’re flying, man, show me your sexy plane side”

Me : Yeah, I get it…. a plane, sexy, that makes sense. First, this wrinkled formless shirt, the too large collar, shiny material for the suit (risky even in 2003), wrong shoes, too wide jacket..

Richard : Ok, ok, I get it. Next !

Richard :

Me : Yeah, it hurts doesn’t it ? Where should I begin ..

Richard : You don’t have to-

Me : Sorry to tell you that, but you look fat. Once again, wrong cut, it doesn’t suit you, shiny material, and colors that don’t work well with your complexion. Next !

Richard : … (I’m not fat…)

Me : Can you tell me what’s wrong here ?

Richard : hum… wrong cut ? 

Me : Yes sweetie, right, although it’s not your worst suit, but it should have been more fitted. I’m also not convinced by the stripes, especially with this burgundy shirt that doesn’t flatter your complexion. Next !

Me : It’s not that bad, really, but it’s not that great either…

Richard :

Me : Are you sulking ?

Richard : … no-

Me : Alright then, because there are a few more to go !

Me : The suit looks good, right cut and…. I’m a bit distracted by… you know… your face and all those things around it..

Richard : My body ?

Me : Sort of… what was I saying ? Ah, the tie ! What’s with the tie ??!!

Richard : True men can wear pink ties I guess ? 

Me : Maybe, but not this one. The next shots aren’t as bad as the firsts ones, but they show the same problem. You have styling issues, obviously, but mainly you have suits issues. Always the wrong cut and too wide (especially when you’re skinny like in the first one)

Richard : I agree but David Tennant’s suit isn’t that great either, is it ?

Me : It’s the Doctor, you’re no match to him. He’s the Doctor, you know, with-

Richard : I get it, I get it ! So, please, are we done ?

Me : Yes sweetie, we are. I know I won’t turn you into some fancy styled actor, it’s not you, you’re just a 6’2” bloke right ?

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