La version française de cet article se trouve sous « lire la suite » 😉
One topic I’ve wish to discuss here for a while now : the fantasies that we can have as a fan. I should say immediately that I will not talk about sexual fantasies, not that I deny their existence, on the contrary because, admit it or not, I’m sure half of us has fantasized about Mr A.’s intimacy at least once. There’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, although I understand that it’s about something very private, and that talking about it can be misunderstood by some people.
So what is a fantasy? After a quick search, here’s my definition : imaginary scenario including the completion of a conscious or unconscious desire. I emphasized the word unconscious because it seems to be an important part of fantasies, and as I always say, what we feel, what we think, and now what we fantasize reveals more about us than about Richard.
What do we do when we fantasize ? We play and we change the reality so that it bends to our desires. This doesn’t necessarily mean that our fantasies are always positive, it may happen that certain desires or rather unconscious fears are expressed through our fantasies. Ultimately, a fantasy is a way of deceiving ourselves we all use. We lie to ourselves, we delude ourselves in it.
I’ll obviously talk about mine and the part they have always had in my life. But what interests me more specifically is what type of fantasy Mr A. causes. I know where I stand, but what about you ? Are the situations you imagine realistic or completely fictional ? Are your fantasies platonic or on the contrary pg-17 ? Are you an hopeless romantic wishing a happy ending like Margaret or Geraldine ? Do you picture Mr A as himself – or at least his public persona – or is it one of his characters that has your favors ? Is it the same scenario that you play again and again ? Or do you have a whole gallery of fantasies ? And you, how do you picture yourself ? Do you hide behind an alter ego, an improved version of yourself perhaps, or are you you ? I could go on like that for hours :).
Personally, fantasies have always been a part of my life. I’m an only child, raised by a single mother who worked hard, thus I spent much of my time alone which developed my imagination. I read a lot, which allowed me to experience many adventures, and at one point I started imagining my own. My fantasies have grown with me, evolving along with my desires. For example, I often imagine a situation I had experienced but differently, replaying the scenario in my head several times, each time changing a tiny detail until it suits me. This mecanism helps me get better and handle certain situations that otherwise I couldn’t deal with in reality. My fantasies hold me together, they helped me.
I’ll stop here for now, this post is, again, much longer than what I expected. Tomorrow will be the « me-part » of this topic where I’ll analyze a fantasie of my own 🙂