Thoughts about fangirling (with Spooks behind the scenes pictures because, come on, nobody’s gonna read so many words without RA pictures 😛 (and I’m still not over Lucas…))
I’m sorry if I post very little original content this week but my job takes a lot of my time (and energy…). So unfortunately I just react and reblogg. In default of creating content, I want to provoke a reflection amongst Ra’s fans. And when I say fans, I don’t think of those who only admire his body ‘hmmmm what a pretty boy’, but of hopeless cases like mine, desperately addicted (these questions can also well be applied to all die hard fans, be it RA, Fassy, Hiddles or Eoin 😉 )
As I’ve written several times on this blog, being a fan reveals as much, if not more, of us than of our fangirling’s subject. Of course, when I say I’m a fan of RA, it necessarily concerns him, as he remains the object of my affection. But I think, above all, by liking him, I define and also reveals who I am.
First question, the easiest : why now ?
I’ve already explained here it wasn’t love at first sight with Richard, far from it. So why have I yield this time? I’ve fallen for him about 4 months ago. This coincides almost perfectly with my new job.
By getting this position, I hadn’t expected three things : stress, pressure and management. I do what I love, but there are certain aspects that are really hard on me. This is my first real job, I can’t screw it, I’ve worked too much for this. Furthermore, I had to leave all my friends and a city I love for the middle of nowhere.
All this to say that I was in period of doubt, change and stress when RA came into my life. He was a distraction, literally, he diverted me from my daily worries. He became a haven, as a comforting cuddly toy, and I fucking needed it. I’ve always tended to isolate myself from the world when things got too hard to deal with, as a child I used to live thousands and thousands adventures in my imaginary world. And that’s what I found in this addiction. It’s the way I found to bear my real life difficulties.